Monthly Archives: February 2017

Child A and Child B

Posted on by

Child A is raised with love and fun, empathy and humor, and that’s the view of life he learns automatically. Bad things happen, there are trials and ordeals, can even be tragedy, but deep down he will always have the expectation that things will turn out for the best, that goodness will prevail, that somewhere above him an authority of virtue and reason, learning and fulfillment, is in charge and will lead him to ultimate good. He will learn, so deeply that it’s part of him, an ethic of being good to others, of fairness and kindness and empathy. Even studying history and philosophy and science will not really tarnish this underlying belief. Cynicism and corruption encountered later in life, no matter how much they disturb him and even for a time disillusion him, cannot completely destroy his underlying faith in the good.

Child B doesn’t get the love and fun and empathy and humor. His infancy and childhood are instead full of uncertainty, need, often dread and disappointment. Even if he is cared for physically, an element of trust is missing. Whether he is ignored or blamed, he grows up with his own understanding of how things are. His attitude will be one of wariness, anger, and the conviction that he’d better grab whatever he can.

Both will grow up amid varying experiences, and both will continue to be influenced by what happens to them and also by how they react. They will in effect teach others how to treat them. Later, they will raise their own children in accordance with how their lives have been so far, depending on what events and associations have tempered that childhood beginning. But the two opposing beginnings remain.

How, Child A grows up to say, can we not feed the hungry, shelter everyone, legislate kindness? Who can begrudge sharing abundance with those who have nothing? But Child B grows up to say no, that’s foolish and deluded and naive. Both sides believe that they are right and that the other side is missing the point somehow. Each side makes caricatures of the other as they oppose each other in politics and life.

Learning is random. Birth environment is luck. All of us are taught how to be, by what happens to us and what we observe. All of us have an effect on those around us. As adults, Child A can make the world a better place and Child B can wreck it. Both are making new and far-reaching scientific discoveries, spreading ever-faster and wider influence.

Are we, moving toward something, or is this the way things will always be?

Reclamation~Advice to Ourselves

Posted on by

RECLAMATION (the reclaiming of desert, marshy, or submerged areas or other wasteland for cultivation or other use.) (Dictionary.com)

There is a special wisdom in very old age, and it’s too easy to discount it when what it really is is a rare privilege. Don’t let other people’s attitudes negate it for you. You can have epiphanies at any age, you can have a new life at any age. Don’t let a false resignation keep you from using what you are learning. Don’t let assumptions (yours or other people’s) keep you from incorporating new beliefs, new habits, new ideas, and new ways into your life; it can be just as exciting now as when you were young, though in a different way. A braver way. A more seasoned way.

Of course the end can come at any time to cut off your progress, dash your hopes, but on the other hand you may have years still ahead, and in any case you will have had this bonus. Making it work with your old-age disabilities and losses is part of the challenge.

Matching your energy to your necessities is part of it. I’m trying to remember all the common sense things I already know. Eat right (whatever that means to you). Sleep when you need to. Love the things that make you cheerful, and never feel like you don’t deserve them.

Realize that everything you read and watch and hear isn’t necessarily true. Very likely your experience and wisdom are more reliable on many subjects than what you’re reading anyway.

Run things by your own personal worthiness index before you spend time on them. You can make deliberate, drastic new changes in what you expect of yourself if it enables you to renew your life and allow for what you know is important to you.

Don’t surrender too easily to the sweeping competence of the young. Weigh the value of their youth and savvy against your longer experience and comprehension and figure out what you believe and respect.

And enjoy your own company. We cherish the help and companionship we can find; we need it. But we can also take an independent kind of pride in navigating an age we thought we might never get to.